How to Make a Man Feel Appreciated: 9 Genuine Things to Say

Appreciating someone can mean telling them you appreciate a specific thing they did for you or a time you felt appreciated. Here are some suggestions on how to make a man feel appreciated, to make him feel like he’s doing something right.

Remember these are just examples you can modify to your situation. You want to use words that feel natural to you and fit your scenario. You should never try to use these to gain favor from someone or keep them from confronting you about something.

A personal note: One thing that I know will always make someone feel appreciated is when I tell them something I noticed they did for me. It doesn’t have to be a long sentence or anything fancy; just let them know that what they did meant something to you.

Key takeaways

• State what you liked about his behavior. Using certain words will make him feel more connected to what you’re saying.
• Tell him why it made you feel a certain way. Don’t overdo it or try to gain something from him.
• Show appreciation in ways that you both enjoy.
• Words of affirmation won’t fix every situation. If you need to speak with your man about something, make sure to have that conversation too.

How to Make a Man Feel Appreciated in a Genuine Way

Everyone likes to be shown appreciation differently. He may enjoy you telling him straight up how much you love something he did, or maybe you write him a letter or just say thank you. Showing him that his efforts have helped you out can also make him feel loved. Whatever method works for him, use that. If you aren’t sure, you can always ask.

When showing your man appreciation, you want to pick a time where you will feel good about saying it. It doesn’t have to be super in-depth either. You can simply tell him you appreciate something he did that day, or mention it to him later on in the day.

Remember, you’re showing appreciation, not manipulating him or asking for something in return. You can always show him that you appreciate something he did and have a conversation about an issue you may be having.

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Optional next step: View the Relationship Rewrite presentation if you want to review its information. We make no claims about the program’s results or whether it is right for your situation.

1. Thank him for one specific thing he did

Instead of saying, “thank you for everything,” tell him what you liked about something he did. This way, you aren’t showing appreciation for who you think he is, but the actual person standing in front of you.

Here are some examples of what you can tell your man.

“I appreciate that you bought us dinner when I was running behind.”

Or:

“You made me feel loved by calling me to let me know you would be late.”

Notice how we told him what we liked about his actions and how it affected us. It doesn’t have to be something major. Maybe he helped you out with something simple. Just let him know that you noticed.

Once again, these tips will only work if you actually feel that way about your man. You don’t have to force yourself to appreciate something that you don’t.

2. Notice the effort, not only the result

He may not have done something right, but if he put in effort, you should appreciate that too. Letting him know that you noticed his hard work will make him feel good.

Some things you can say to your man.

“I noticed you worked really hard to make our day enjoyable.”

Or:

“You did your best to make that happen, and I appreciate that.”

Again, don’t force yourself to say something that you don’t mean. But if he put effort into something, you should let him know.

Maybe he tried to surprise you with a date night, and it didn’t go as planned. You can tell him you appreciate that he tried and maybe mention what could have been better.

“I love that you took the time to make a dinner for me. Next time, I would have liked…”

By doing this, you’re letting him know that you value what he does for you, not just the outcome.

3. Tell him which quality you admire, and give an example

Another way to show your man you appreciate him is by telling him a quality you love about him.

Maybe he’s smart or funny. You can let him know that by telling him why you think he’s smart or funny.

“You were very intelligent when you came up with that solution.”

Or:

“I love how you are always trying to make me laugh.”

Whatever quality you appreciate about your man, let him know why. This will help him understand that you truly think he’s that way.

An example can be helpful as well. “You’re thoughtful.” “I know that you were busy this morning, and you took the time to check on me. That’s thoughtful.” This allows him to know what you’re talking about.

4. Appreciate the way he listened

Sometimes we just need to feel heard. If he allowed you to speak and helped you with the situation in any way, maybe he asked you a question or stuck around and talked through it with you.

Try:

“I liked that you listened to me and didn’t immediately want to solve it.”

Or:

“Thank you for asking me what I needed instead of trying to figure it out on your own.”

You are simply letting him know what he did that you liked about the interaction. There’s no need to make it seem like he should always know what to do in these situations. You can always communicate what works for you as well. “I like when we can talk things out before trying to find a solution.”

There are many things you can read about here if you need help on how to communicate better in a relationship. Remember, you can appreciate him and still voice what you need.

5. Recognize the work he puts into shared responsibilities

Everyone likes to know that the things they do don’t go unnoticed. So if he helped out around the house with something you normally would do, or even helped follow through with something that you both planned out.

For example:

“Thank you for following up with that appointment for us. It was nice not having to remind you about all the details.”

Or:

“I noticed you finished up that grocery list before we left. It made going to the store a little less stressful.”

Remember the difference between appreciating someone and expecting them to do something for you. If you live with someone, you should both be helping out around the house. So you can still appreciate each other and expect help from one another.

If one person is always doing more than the other, a compliment will not fix that. You may need to discuss that with your partner. This article on signs that effort feels unequal in a relationship offers a way to think about balance without assuming every difficult week means the same thing.

6. Notice qualities he shows during a hard moment

Just because someone is having a bad day doesn’t mean you have to put them on a pedestal. You can simply acknowledge that they tried. Whether it was asking for help or thinking before they acted, you can show that you noticed.

You might say:

“I know things were stressful today, but I liked that you took some time to think before speaking.”

Or:

“I know you have had a lot going on, but I noticed you took time to speak to me about it.”

You don’t have to praise him for doing everything right. Just point out what you liked about his reaction to a certain situation.

Don’t appreciate someone because of what they can provide you financially or how many times they’ve stayed calm. Show them that you care about more than what they can do for you.

7. Let him know you enjoy being with him

Appreciation doesn’t always have to focus on a task. Showing appreciation can be as simple as telling your partner that you enjoyed spending time with them.

For example:

“I loved that we spent time doing nothing together last night. It was very relaxing.”

Or:

“That story made me laugh. I love hearing what you notice about things.”

Or simply:

“It was fun hanging out with you today.”

You don’t have to over complicate things or lead into something that you’re not sure about. Just express what you feel about that person.

It could be something as simple as him making you laugh or taking you out to dinner. Show them that you appreciate the little things.

8. Appreciate a moment when he made room for your needs

Maybe he listened to what you want, honored your boundaries, or opened up space for you. Let him know how you felt.

You could say:

“Thank you for asking me what I wanted to do tonight. I felt special that you thought of me.”

Or:

“It was nice that you respected my answer and didn’t try to push the issue.”

Or:

“Thank you for taking the time to drive me to my appointment today.”

These types of acknowledgments should be based on something he did for you, not something you have to reward him for doing. There is no need to praise him for simply respecting you, and never praise him if you feel you will prevent him from getting angry. You don’t have to make yourself uncomfortable.

Let him know when he does something that means something to you. It could be as simple as one sentence.

9. Thank him for coming back to a difficult conversation

Sometimes people need time to cool down from an argument. If your partner came back to you and listened to what you had to say, you can thank them for that.

For example:

“Thank you for coming back to me when we had that discussion. I liked being able to hear what you had to say.”

Or:

“I appreciate that you listened to me and helped resolve the situation.”

Always specify what it is that you are appreciating them for. “I appreciate that you are taking responsibility for your actions” does not mean that you are done with the subject. Just because you show someone that you appreciate them does not mean you are accepting an apology or that something has changed.

You can always say, “I appreciate that you listened to me, but I still would like us to figure out what to do moving forward.”

How to make the words feel natural

These are just examples. Choose what feels true to you at that time and use your normal speaking style. Cut any of these statements down if they sound too formal for you. “Thank you for being there when I needed you” could work for you.

State what you observed. “I noticed you asked me how my appointment went.”

1. State what you observed. “I noticed you asked me how my appointment went.”
2. How that made you feel. “It made me feel taken care of.”
3. You can stop here if that’s what you want to convey. No need to tack on something you’d like him to do or say in return.

Avoid trying to imply you want something in return from stating that you appreciate something he did. “I appreciate all you’ve done for me so you should…” will make your statement less about appreciating him. If there is something you want him to do, let him know directly.

Don’t try to brush things off with appreciation. If he does something nice for you, you can appreciate that and address the issue that has been going on. Appreciate him while telling him you’re not okay with something. Or you can simply not appreciate him if you don’t feel it’s necessary.

What research can and can’t tell us

While there is some research that backs up telling a man how much you appreciate him, there is no scientific research that says this is what all men want to hear.

Researchers recorded and analyzed 370 expressions of gratitude from 3 samples. When the person expressed gratitude to their partner about something that was partner-specific, their partner felt that they were more responsive and felt happier and loved. So we know that there is a correlation between expressing gratitude to your partner about something they did that specifically benefited you. (Algoe, Kurtz, and Hilaire, 2016)

There was also another study that had participants complete daily diaries for 2 weeks. The study consisted of 67 heterosexual couples who lived together. They found that after expressing gratitude towards each other throughout the day, they reported higher levels of connection and satisfaction the next day. While this is interesting information to know, it does not apply to everyone. (Algoe, Gable, and Maisel, 2010)

So tell your man you appreciate him when you feel that’s appropriate.

An optional resource

If you’d like to learn more about Relationship Rewrite, you can read about it here. This is an affiliate link, so Clearer Connections may earn a commission if you make a purchase. You can review the details and decide for yourself whether it’s right for you.

FAQs

How do you tell a man you appreciate him?

Let him know what you appreciate him for. “Thank you for asking me how I did before my interview; it made me feel like you cared about me.” Use your own words when telling a man that you appreciate him. Don’t feel like you need to say a set phrase that will work for every man.

How do I show a man that I appreciate him?

Tell him you appreciate something he did for you. “I noticed you did ___ thank you.” You can keep it simple if that’s what you want to say. Feel free to use fewer words or more. Just remember to use your own words.

Do I need to tell a man I appreciate him every day?

No, there is no requirement to tell him you appreciate him every day. Tell him when you feel that he’s done something that deserves you letting him know.

What if he doesn’t appreciate that I’m telling him I appreciate him?

He may appreciate it in his own way. He might thank you or not. Either way, know that you’re doing it for you. If you want to know what he enjoys, you can always ask him what makes him feel appreciated.

Can I use this to improve my relationship?

Yes! Telling your man that you appreciate him will help build a sense of intimacy with each other. It won’t solve all of your problems but can be helpful when used in conjunction with other techniques. Always make sure you feel comfortable and safe expressing yourself to your partner.

What if I feel awkward expressing appreciation?

That’s understandable. Start with one thing that he did for you. “Thank you for checking in with me today; it made me feel ___.” Keep it simple and remember you’re telling him because you care about him, not to get a specific reaction from him.

Conclusion: small, honest words can matter

Learn how to make a man feel appreciated. This does not mean saying the right thing or being responsible for how he feels. Simply recognize your thoughts and decide if you want to let him know. Use your words, whether it’s a thank you, a compliment, or something caring. Speak from your heart.

Here is great relationship resource you may want to check out:
Check out Relationship Rewrite Method.
Affiliate disclosure: I may earn a commission if you purchase through this link.